Tastor Croy

Click click, saddle up, see you on the moon then

Never Fire Bear Grylls | Videogum


“Are you guys NUTS? Don’t fire Bear Grylls! And I’m not saying that as someone who cares one way or the other about Man Vs. Wild. I haven’t been able to watch that show since this. But, like, the dude squeezes the water from elephant shit into his mouth FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY. He gave himself an enema on television to show you how he stays hydrated. And who could forget the very special 127 Hours tie-in promotional episode when he sawed his own arm off with a dull blade just to show you that Aron Ralston wasn’t a fluke and it could always be done if necessary? (That one may or may not have actually happened. There is no way for us to know.) The point is: never fire Bear Grylls FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY. Bear Grylls is just another word for “nothing left to lose.” The dude doesn’t want to film a couple of crappy specials that no one would watch anyway? DROP IT! Let it go. Move on with your lives while you still have them. Unless you’re just so desperate for conversation topics at your dinner party in heaven with Einstein, Beethoven, and Rodney Dangerfield. “Funny story, Ms. D’Arc, I’m actually here because of a boring contractual dispute with a fucking lunatic. Please pass the cloud wine, Mr. Rogers.”

Posted on 15 March, 2012
Reblogged from ratsoff  

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